Identity CrisisIn today’s world of social media it’s easy to say the right things and show how things are going great even when your truth is that you are in the midst of an identity crisis.

God bless those who chose to be real, authentic and constructive. This is a hard and often minute by minute choice.

Facebook, LinkedIN and Twitter offer great places to hide in plain sight. Yet, “pretending” is not a new concept. You have been building a “persona” since you were born. You often do things because you should and while some of these things are very good others work to separate you from who you were created to be.

This often happens because we as a society are all scared of vulnerability (see Brene Brown’s Ted talk). In fact you may even be scared of being vulnerable with yourself. So you go through life wondering what your “real” identity is versus the “persona” you have built.  This leaves you in an identity crisis.

What is stopping you from being vulnerable with yourself? What is stopping you from digging into your own thoughts and discovering the real you?

To uncover the layers of your complex personality you need to dig – it’s work, it’s a process and it’s not easy. These are three things that stopped me from starting this very same journey. Yet after each quick fix solution failed I learned that only I could dig myself out from these self-created layers of protection. And if I started simply, with one question at a time, it was less overwhelming; less work and I could control how fast or slow I went – which was one of my biggest needs at that time.

Below are the questions I used to dig in and get to know myself at a much deeper level. My prayer is that these questions help you reflect and slowly uncover the real you:

  •  MONEY:  Look at your budget and your spending
    1. What did you spent $ on this month? Why?
    2. What would you change?
    3. If you had more $ what would you do with it?
    4. What would you do if no one paid you?
  • TIME AT HOME/COMMUNITY: Look at your calendar, your sent emails, your social media posts etc.
    1. What did you do this month?  What did you plan to do?
    2. How did you chose spend your spare time?
    3. Which events made your smile?  Cringe?  Taught you something
    4. What topics did you write about? Were you positive or negative?
    5. Did you help others?  How?
    6. What did you volunteer for without someone asking you?
  • TIME AT WORK:
    1. Which projects did you complete?
    2. What was your favorite “thing” about work this past month?
    3. What do you appreciate that you didn’t used to?
    4. What stresses you out the most?
    5. What do you find the most rewarding?
    6. What do others tell you you are good at?

Will you answer these questions TODAY to help you work through this identity crisis and discover the real you?

Copyright 2013- 2015, Mary R. Miller Author of “The Birth of a Dream Catalyst: Unlocking the Dream from Within”