you seen those Direct TV Commercials “No more wires”? They parity a family member as a marionette puppet to show how wires get in the way of daily life.

While these commercials are creepy (to me), they got me thinking. What if people’s expectations are really invisible wires? 

Are you with me?  Some days it can feel like someone is pulling you in the opposite direction of where you want to go.  The difference between their and your expectations causes great tension.

The irony in this situation is that to be strong and to stand your ground requires an extreme amount of humility. Taking your life back requires you to release your expectations of “how it should be” and look for the best solution in each situation.

When we hold on so tightly to our expectations that we get frustrated and angry with the person who is pulling our wires.  We let this tension lead us down a slippery slope of negativity simply because we didn’t get our way or have to explain ourselves (this is why humility is key).

To take control of your own destiny you need to release your and other’s expectations that are holding you back from the best solution.

How? You get to lead a lovely, funny, difficult and sometimes stubborn person to freedom from expectations  – yourself. Here are 7 ways to take control of your life and lead yourself to freedom by releasing expectations.

  1. Responsibility: You are responsible for your attitude and actions. You are responsible to but not for other people.
  2. Role Models: Who do you look up to?  Where do you go for advice? Role models help us learn and kept us honest by having us look outside of ourselves for solutions.
  3. Reflection:  STOP!  Yes stop, sit and think!  Review what you did today, this week, this month etc.  Was it in line with your life values?  If not what will you do differently next week?
  4. Rest: Are you on information overload? Give your brain and your body a rest. The time you invest in rest you will get back double in clarity and creativity.
  5. Real: Are you trying to over control a situation and have lost site of the big picture? Don’t lie to yourself about where you are really at. We all have things to work on.  Admit it so you can do something about it.
  6. Reason: This goes hand in hand with being real.  We so often manipulate ourselves out of something or into something by thinking too much.  Life can be simple don’t over complicate it.
  7. Reassurance: Taking control of your life is a process – reassure yourself of this each day.  Depending on your level of people pleasing, perfectionism and other nemesis-es will determine the time it takes to get your life back in full control.

What will you do TODAY to take control of  your life?

Copyright 2014, Mary R Miller